The NA710N

“Lobbies” are to the 21st century what acting troupes were to the Ancient Romans, or perhaps bootleggers in Prohibition America. The term alone forces you to travel to such uncharted depths of wantonness and questionable persuasion that one with a proper conscience needs a shower after using it. So when evil genius James Carville called out those who remain skeptical of climate change as being in the tank for the “Pollution Lobby” last Monday, amusement had to take a back seat to offense at even bringing up a term of such filthy connotation. The whirlpool of political slime where Carville and sidekick Paul Begala, like Scylla and Charybdis of The Odyssey, reside in waiting for fresh meat is a difficult one to navigate, but those that managed it this time after picking themselves up from being called the worst name in the book (“lobbyists”) were well rewarded. The diverse array of SUV owners, dendrophobes, and smokestack aficionados incriminated were treated with written proof of what many have suspected for years: global warming is an intricate hoax, and there is little to no unbiased proof that it is happening.

The written proof appeared in the form of a series of leaked emails from climatologists working around the world for the respected University of East Anglia Climate Research Unit in the UK. The topic of most of the email threads is specifically what the researchers should do about the fact that the global warming trend has stagnated in recent years, and that the BBC has picked up on the temperature’s downward spiral. Others specifically take on the request through the Freedom of Information Act that some information be released to the public. Some emails suggest organizing the data through different software or in a different display such that light perusal will leave the reader believing the data indicates a warming trend, while some other participants in the thread suggest that their research, despite a few botched numbers, yields the correct result. The most damning of the statements in this thread, however, comes from Dr. Kevin Trenberth, the head of the Climate Analysis Section at the National Center for Atmospheric Research. Trenberth, researching in Boulder, Colorado, became increasingly concerned about the cold weather trend that began to dig holes into their hypothesis.

“The high the last 2 days was below 30ºF and the normal is 69ºF, and it smashed the previous records for these days by 10ºF. The low was about 18ºF and also a record low, well below the previous record low.

[…]

The fact is that we can’t account for the lack of warming at the moment and it is a travesty that we can’t.”

Other, later threads discussing the FOIA requests for data specifically include such quotable gems as “I think I’ll delete the file rather than send to anyone” and “Don’t any of you three tell anybody that the UK has a Freedom of Information Act!” Quite the inconvenient timing for these emails to leak now that President Obama, fresh from losing the support of pacifist Left, seeks to regain some of it by compromising the American economy with some more green initiatives at a climate summit in Copenhagen where other large nations are expected to join with the United States in a promise to cut carbon emissions. Given the proximity of what had been billed before the global warming scandal as a major event in the history of combating climate change and the outrageous fraud surrounding the theory as a whole, it was time for a major distraction.

The left-wing propaganda machine spun in overdrive last week to fabricate misleading and irrelevant scandal; President Obama has been publicly denounced as a liar enough during his tenure. The more subdued members of that wing have been extremely effective at doing so, with Chris Matthews calling the American troops “the enemy” and even the predictably noisy Michael Moore playing the George W. Bush card, calling Obama a “wartime President.” For those who find the musings of Chris Matthews a little too high brow, there’s always the White House party crashers, Tiger Woods’ harem of adult film stars, and naked pictures of Levi Johnston. There is no end to the dazzling array of mind-numbingly trivial information to throw out against hard news and see what sticks.

But although the pragmatists (and Tiger Woods) have been holding up the fort of distraction, the bleeding hearts have tackled “Climategate,” as it has been affectionately nicknamed, with zeal as the biggest breach in scientific privacy in the history of modern science. That’s the outlandish argument California Senator Barbara Boxer has raised against the legal release of these documents. “You call it Climategate,” she asserted, “but I call it Email-theft-gate,” perhaps because she refused to believe the few days after the scandal broke, when the emails were verified as legally released, actually happened. Even Pravda has declared the emails legally leaked, and, rather than questioning the legality of the release of the information (though they mistakenly cite the US FOIA rather than the UK one), suggests the scientists are the ones that may be facing criminal troubles. Then there is James Carville, for whom the past two decades or so never happened. Much like Adam Lambert lives in a grotesque 80s fantasy world, so too does Carville inhabit an alternate universe where Bill Clinton is the nation’s first Black President, Rahm Emanuel is some spunky, easily-ignored kid, and the Contract with America is still a fantasy that helps Newt Gingrich sleep at night. It is the only way to understand why he would take such an offensive stance when the Democrats have been cornered, caught red-handed involved in a massive global lie. Having a man on your side that doesn’t know when (or how) to retreat is only an asset when you haven’t been checkmated by your own deceit. Otherwise, it just makes you obnoxious as well as untrustworthy.

But never mind Carville, whose raison d’être is to publicly embarrass Democrats by revealing their true motives. Let’s look at their image. The squabbling Democrats proved they weren’t too big to fail on their mission to make Climategate a nonissue and forced the White House itself to intervene. Yesterday, the Environmental Protection Agency dropped a bombshell: carbon dioxide, the gas plants require to live, is dangerous to human health. It must be regulated. The EPA didn’t spend too much time specifying exactly how naturally existing greenhouse gases affect humans negatively when they themselves produce them, merely citing ominously that an “increase is deteriorating the natural balance in our atmosphere” and that “the threat is real.” The threat, that is, of carbon and oxygen hurting your health, not of the Left exploiting a climate (no pun intended) of fear to promote their absurd, now disproven, agenda. On the bright side, blacklisting CO2 will make us the belle of the ball in Copenhagen!  And we can’t let that wretched Pollution Lobby get soot all over our lovely dress.

Whether or not Climategate will affect a conference already predicted to end with no measurable progress requires at least for the conference to conclude, and hopefully someone there will be kind enough to measure the event’s carbon footprint, and perhaps delete the information if it is too incriminating. As Americans, what it means on a global scale should not concern us—it is the promotion of dangerous domestic policies like Cap and Trade that should catch our attention. The emails don’t give Americans a license to litter egregiously or needlessly kill polar bears, either; taking care of our habitat is still a measure of personal responsibility just as keeping a tidy house is. It should, however, make us think twice when accused of being murderers or destroying our childrens’ future simply because we refuse to drive a Prius or abandon plans to buy plane tickets.

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